We all can behave violently, there is no exception. Our aggression is provided by our instincts. It protects us and lets us survive. During our life, we learn to give our aggressiveness a publicly acceptable form. We can say that social adaptation takes place.
Most fathers and mothers encounter children’s hostility during certain periods of their lives. Usually they have no idea what to do when this situation appears. So, here are 10 tips that will help to deal with children’s violence.
1. Control your negative impulses or your children may become a bullies. Note, a child understands social life by watching how surrounding people behave.
2. Always support your children. One shouldn’t allow statements: “if you behave yourself such way, then I (we) won’t love you!”. You children should never feel offended. Also, you should not under any condition try to buy him or her with any gifts. Your children require the time to be given to them. Give them as much as they need. Respect your youngest family members, pay attention to his or her opinion. Give him or her enough freedom. Let him or her know that if they ask, you will be happy to help.
3. The system of punishments shouldn’t depend on your mood. It’s unacceptable that the same act yesterday didn’t cause any emotion, and today has led to severe punishment. You must praise your child publicly, and revile him or her only privately. Don’t punish your children publicly. It humiliates your children.
4. Openly praise your children every day. They are important part of our life, we all need compliments. Some people have no idea how important the kindness is. Reward your children for their obedience.
5. If the child screams, angers and grizzles, then cuddle and hug him or her. This serves to fulfill several chief functions. The child sees that you can softly endure the manifestations of his or her aggression, so he or she won’t lose your love. Also, it creates the ability to restrain aggressive impulses and learn to control anger.
6. Show the final ineffectiveness of such behavior. Explain that even if he achieves some self-profit, he or she is at risk of turning in to an outcast because no one will want to spend time with them. There is no way that someone will like this perspective. Also, explain your children that bad behavior leads to consequences and there is no exception. They must realize that they are going to be punished nevertheless.
7. Never be shy and afraid. Sometimes you may need help from professionals. Especially if you feel that there is no way to fix this. Professionals can effectively help your children to understand why this occurs.
8. Sport helps children to “blow down”, your children need to visit some sports section. The best thing for this it football or other outdoor games. The kid must necessarily have a place where he can run and scream as much as he or she wants.
9. There is no way to prevent the demonstration of aggressive behavior. Violence must be disgorged or it can extremely damage his or her life. Let your children learn how to express hostile emotions in an acceptable way. Explain him or her that anger is normal occurrence, but he or she mustn’t fight and offend other people. Instead he can try one of the cheerful ways:
· fight with pillows;
· beat a pillow;
· throw soft toys (on the floor, in the basket, on the sofa);
· crumple up a piece of paper;
· throw crumpled paper in a wall or in each other;
· tear the paper;
· draw the one whom he is angry about and crumple the paper;
· built the one whom he is angry about and crush the work.
Note: if you understand how to deal with it, aggression isn’t only a source of destructive behavior. Your need to teach the child to regulate it and apply it for peaceful needs.